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20100330

Is it okay to be pretty?

Unlike this woman, I like being "pretty."  Not because it's feminine, but because I identify with it--that is, I identify with what is typically considered feminine beauty.  I like skirts and occasionally putting on makeup.  My identify doesn't depend on it--I feel just as good wearing baggy cargo pants and a wifebeater.  But sometimes, I want to be pretty.  (And you know what?  I want a family too.  Men can want families, what's the problem?)

I am NOT submitting by liking or wanting things that other people consider to be feminine.  She says that it's wrong to be pretty.  You know what I think is wrong?  Certainly not wanting to be beautiful within or without gender.  What's wrong is telling people that they shouldn't do what they feel is good, natural, or healthy.  Telling them that doing that screws a whole bunch of people like them.  Putting one's opinions over all and not making room for people to make individual choices.  In some circumstances, sure, society's perception of beauty can be skewed, but let people make their own calls on when that is.  I can see some of where she comes from (and she too has every right to think her thoughts and speak her mind), but I don't agree with the moral extremes she comes to.

I think that anyone of any gender has the right to identify themselves as they please and to pursue that identity in whatever way they feel fit.  Something that is accepted by society at large doesn't mean it's inherently wrong.  Choose your battles.  For me, feminism is about choice and equality, including the choice to be "pretty."

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